Personal Safety

Safety Plan

Creating a safety plan involves identifying steps to increase your safety, and to prepare in advance for the possibility of further violence.  This Safety Plan booklet offers many suggestions and ideas which we hope you will find useful.  However, don’t try to do everything right away.  Take it one step at a time, and start with the ideas that you feel you can accomplish at this point in time.  Other safety measures can be added step by step as your planning continues.

This safety plan information is specifically designed for actions that you can take and also to increase your children’s safety.

Download Safety Plan Booklet MS Publisher

Sexual boundaries:
I have the right to determine with whom, where, when and how I am going to be sexual with someone.

How can I protect myself from being sexually assaulted?

There are things you can do to reduce your chances of being sexually assaulted.

• Be aware of your surroundings — who’s out there and what’s going on.
• Walk with confidence. The more confident you look, the stronger you appear.
• Don’t let drugs or alcohol cloud your judgment.
• Be assertive — don’t let anyone violate your space.
• Trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable in your surroundings, leave.
• Watch out for unwanted visitors. Know who’s on the other side of the door before you open it.
• Be wary of isolated spots, like underground garages, offices after business hours, and apartment laundry rooms.
• Avoid walking or jogging alone, especially at night. Vary your route. Stay in well-traveled, well-lit areas.
• Have your key ready to use before you reach the door — home, car, or work.
• Park in well-lit areas and lock the car, even if you’ll only be gone a few minutes.
• Drive on well-traveled streets, with doors and windows locked.
• Keep your car in good shape with plenty of gas in the tank.
• In case of car trouble, call for help on your cellular phone. If you don’t have a phone, put the hood up, lock the doors, and put a banner in the rear mirror that says, “Help. Call police.”
• Don't leave your beverage unattended or accept a drink from an open container.
• When you go to a party, go with a group of friends. Arrive together, watch out for each other, and leave together. Designate one friend who will remain sober and be responsible for everyone getting home safely.
• Don't allow yourself to be isolated with someone you don't know or trust.
• Think about the level of intimacy you want in a relationship, and clearly state your limits.

Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse/Assault

While there is no sure-fire way to protect your child from all dangers, there are some steps that you can take to help reduce the risk of him or her being sexually assaulted:

• Teach your children that it’s OK to say no and it’s OK to leave the situation.

Teach your children that it’s OK to say no and it’s OK to leave the situation.

• Tell them that if someone does something to make them uncomfortable that they should tell that person that they are uncomfortable. Emphasize to them that if the person doesn't listen, doesn't stop, or continues to make them feel uncomfortable that they should tell someone- a parent, teacher, trusted adult.
• Tell them that if anyone touches them on the body parts that are covered by a bathing suit, then they should tell an adult they trust.

Trust your own instincts. If your instincts tell you something is wrong, follow-up.

Stay calm if a child discloses abuse to you, or hints at possible abuse.

If you suspect that a child may have been abused or is at risk for abuse, it is not up to you to try to prove your suspicions.  You MUST report this information to Children's Aid Society at 905-433-1551.

• Control your emotions
• Offer comfort
• Reasssure your child by telling him/her it was brave of him/her to tell
• Be aware of your child's age and skills
• Only ask questions that allow your child to tell  you what happened in his/her own words
• Avoid leading questions, scary words, or pushing too hard for details
• Tell your child what will happen next
• Answer questions simply and honestly

• Don't overreact.
• Believe the child and communicate that belief to him or her.
• Thank the child for telling you and praise his or her courage for speaking up.
• Emphasize that what happened to the child was not his or her fault and that the child did not deserve to be treated like that.
• Encourage the child to talk but don't push for or imply details. Ask questions such as, "what happened next?"
• Get professional help for the child.
• Tell the child that it is your responsibility to keep the child safe and that you will do the best you can to protect him or her.
• Report to the local police

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

• Tell your children that you are always there to talk about anything. Tell them that you are there to help them solve problems and to protect them.
• Teach your children that it is against the “rules” for adults to act in a sexual way with children and use examples.
• Teach your children that their bodies are their own and that it is OK if they don't want a hug or other contact that might make them uncomfortable.
• Speak to your children about using the proper names for their body parts. Armed with information, children are better able to report abuse to you.
• Model comfort when talking about these issues. If you are not tense talking about these issues, then they are less likely to be worried about talking.
• Talk to your children about sex when they show interest or curiosity.

Following the disclosure of sexual abuse - How to help your child and family cope.

• Minimize disruptions in the family
• Help other children in your home make sense of what happened
• Accept that your child may regress
• Help you child feel safe at bedtime
• Get help from someone you trust
• Talk to a professional
• Consider how you express your feelings
• Let you child know that she/he does not need to worry about you
• Keep a journal to track changes
• Remember to do fun stuff, too

Remember it is important that you have strong supports for yourself.