Reporting Domestic Violence

Everyone in our community has a role to play in ending domestic violence, so it’s
important to know the signs:

• frequent injuries from “accidents”
• increased isolation from family and friends
• jumpiness / depression
• fear of the partner
• dwindling self-esteem
• partner's jealousy or possessiveness
• constant criticism from partner

It's Hard to Stop Because It's Hard to Report

Victims of domestic violence are reluctant to report abuse. Women very reasonably fear retaliation against themselves and their children by the abuser and fear the economic upheaval that may follow the report.

Many times, women's self-esteem is so low as a result of spouse abuse that they are unable to see themselves as worthy of seeking help, or they rationalize the abuse, believing they caused or deserve it. Police complain that often when they arrest an abuser, the victims want them to drop the charges.

For children, the fear is more than fear of injury or death. Children fear the destruction of their family - their world. Middle-school aged children have an awareness of things such as poverty, foster homes, and homelessness, and may be unable to cope with the uncertainty that reporting abuse may cause.

Even when adults in the community such as school personnel or neighbors report the abuse, children may outright deny it. Children may experience feelings of shame, guilt, and divided loyalties to parents making it unlikely that they will disclose the violence to others.

In an abusive situation, many battered women will try to solve the problem by talking it out with the abuser, by fighting back, or by trying to change their behavior to meet the demands of the abuser (of course, then the demands change). When they fail to stop the abuse, women may become passive, which may reduce the immediate danger, or may go into a state of emotional withdrawal. In the end, abuse may push a woman to see only two options: suicide or homicide.